


Accident

by pcyjunguwudays



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Heavy Angst, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 16:05:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15368232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcyjunguwudays/pseuds/pcyjunguwudays
Summary: In which Jaemin has to deal with major trauma.





	Accident

**Author's Note:**

> DO NOT READ IF YOU WILL BE EASILY TRIGGERED. THIS CONTAINS MAJOR VIOLENCE, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH AND A WHOLE LOT OF ANGST. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Jaemin was exhausted. Three days of hard work, and still they weren’t finished. They had one more day before they could go home, and Jaemin was looking forward to going home. Not that he didn’t like the countryside - he loved the scenery and the area, and he loved being away from everyone, but it was nice to be able to sleep in a nice bed and eat food that was actually edible. On top of that, he’d received the news that his little brother Jisung was in the hospital after being attacked, causing him to worry and stress all night as he couldn’t do anything about it. 

Jaemin settled into a double seat in the minivan, smirking at Renjun and Jeno over the back of his seat. The two of them sat separately in single seats, cracking jokes with each other. Upon seeing Jaemin, they both threw their coats over at him, causing him to groan at the impact. He tossed them to the floor, ignoring the two boys’ protests. Jaemin waited until they both turned back to their own conversation before allowing a grin to spread over his face, feeling himself flush and butterflies erupt in his stomach.

Mark and Donghyuck climbed into the double seat in front of Jaemin, and Jaemin forced the urge to gag as Donghyuck snuggled into Mark’s neck. The instructor, Minah, started talking as she drove the van, but Jaemin zoned out, leaning his forehead against the window, letting the conversations of the other four wash over him. The narrow, winding roads were full of  potholes, and Jaemin bit his lip each time they drove over one, resisting the urge to groan as the vibrations travelled through his head. 

Jaemin’s legs ached, and ignoring the bright red signs along the roof telling them to keep their seatbelts on at all times, he took it off and stretched, flipping off Jeno as he jokingly pretended to grab Minah’s attention towards Jaemin. Jaemin sat sideways, putting his long legs across the sand-covered seat, his trainer-clad feet dangling off into the walkway. He pulled his seatbelt back on, feeling much more comfortable. From his position, he could watch Renjun and Jeno out of the corner of his eye without seeming suspicious. 

He leaned back against the window and shut his eyes, the harsh vibrations from earlier having toned down. It was strangely relaxing; the mixture of murmured conversations and soft vibrations from the van were enough to put anyone to sleep. His eyes drifted open and shut, but it was getting harder and harder to keep them open. 

Jaemin was almost asleep when it happened.

It was so sudden. One minute, Jaemin was sitting upright. The next, he was being flipped upside down. His legs smacked painfully into Donghyuck’s seat, and he gasped as pain exploded across his shins. He could hear screaming as the van went skidding off the road, and suddenly they were freefalling. Jaemin twisted his body, trying to grab hold of Mark’s headrest to ground himself, and his legs slipped out of the seatbelt; now only the headrest was keeping him alive. 

Jaemin braced himself for impact as he saw the side of the mountain coming fast towards them, but it wasn’t enough. He could hear shattering glass and screams; he closed his eyes, trying desperately to stay upright. The van shuddered and jolted as it fell on its side, and Jaemin, unable to hold onto the seat any longer, let it go, falling into the window. He felt his head become wet with blood as it scraped the sharp edges of the broken window, but he forced his eyes open, letting out a long breath. He was alive. Battered and bruised, but he was alive. He hauled himself upright, realising for the first time that there was silence in the cabin. He looked towards the front of the van; Mr Kim and Minah were both silent. Minah’s airbag had gone off at some point, and Jaemin could just about see her face through her hair. It was matted and bloodstained. He felt panic rise inside him; looking at the back, both Renjun and Jeno were unconscious. Jeno’s arm was bent in an unnatural position, and his head was cut; blood dripped slowly onto his shirt.  He was slumped sideways, only the belt keeping him in place. Renjun’s eyes were closed, and Jaemin could see a piece of glass sticking out of his stomach. He was slumped against the window, or lack of. 

He decided to get to Mr Kim and Minah first, as they would know what to do. Jaemin picked his way slowly past Mark and Donghyuck, forcing himself to look away from them. Mr Kim had fallen sideways in his seat. His eyes were shut and his chest was not moving. Jaemin felt panic rise inside him as he noticed. “Shit! Mr Kim, please!” he yelled. He had never liked Mr Kim, but he would never have wanted to see him dead. Jaemin yanked out the headrest on the middle seat and climbed over, ignoring his body screaming out in pain at the movement. He dropped to the floor, bending over a little and felt for a pulse in the teacher’s arm. “No, no, come on!” 

There was no pulse. Jaemin dropped Mr Kim’s hand as if burnt, and swiftly turned to Minah. She looked ok, but it was difficult to tell. The amount of blood on her airbag had increased, and Jaemin wasn’t sure if she was alive, either. With shaking hands, he gently pushed her upwards. A small flicker of hope died immediately in his chest. Her nose and mouth had been restricted by the airbag for too long, and Jaemin knew instantly that she was gone, too. He climbed over the seat again into the main van, forcing down the urge to vomit. Checking on the others was more important now. 

Jaemin turned to Mark, clutching a seat for support. “Mark! Mark Lee, wake up now!” he ordered, shaking Mark’s shoulder. Mark had pieces of glass sticking out of him, some in his chest, some in his stomach. There was blood everywhere. His body was wrapped around Donghyuck, and though the younger boy was unconscious, Jaemin was hoping - praying - that he was alive. “MARK!”

Jaemin punched the eject button on Mark’s seatbelt; it retracted slowly, and Mark fell forwards, nothing holding him any longer. Jaemin grabbed his shoulder, leaning him back into his seat, and straight away, he could see that both Donghyuck and Mark were gone. A huge shard of glass protruded from Donghyuck’s body, piercing Mark’s chest, and combined with the other pieces of glass in Mark, Jaemin knew he hadn’t survived. 

This time, he did vomit. He leaned over, retching. Tears streamed down his face as he began to cry, the pressure of the situation finally getting to him. He was trapped in the van with four dead bodies and no way out. He slowly got up, his legs trembling. A  sharp pain shot through his arm and he slowly looked to see a huge shard of glass sticking out. How he hadn’t noticed that before, he didn’t know, but now he was stuck. If he pulled it out, he would surely bleed out. But if he jostled it too much, it would go deeper into his arm. He sighed, turning his attention away from it again.  

His eyes fell to the back of the van onto Renjun and Jeno. They were his last hope. He stumbled over, ignoring the throbbing of his arm. Immediately, close up, he could see that neither of them were alive. There was no movement whatsoever from their chests. Jaemin held a shaking finger under each of their noses, but he could feel no breath. Renjun had no pulse, either, and Jaemin couldn’t bear to check on Jeno. 

Tears slipped down his face as he leaned forward slowly, hesitating. He gently placed a kiss on each of their foreheads. “I loved you both...but it’s too late for anything to happen.” He hiccuped a little. “I’m sorry...I couldn’t...couldn’t help you. I’m sorry...forgive me…” He quickly turned away, keeping his eyes on the front seat. 

Minah’s bag would have some sort of emergency phone and a first aid kit. He leaned over with his good arm, keeping his eyes down, focusing on his feet so as not to look at the bodies surrounding him. He managed to open the bag, retrieving her phone, but she had no signal, not inside the van. The van was beginning to smell of blood and vomit, and Jaemin decided he had to get out. He hoisted Minah’s bag onto the side of the seat and leaned up, grabbing the emergency hammer from its hook above the seat. It was heavy - just what he needed. 

He climbed over into the front again and channeling the anger he felt, he swung it at the crack in the windscreen. The windscreen cracked further, but did not smash entirely. Gritting his teeth, ignoring the pain travelling through his bad arm, he repeated the movement. “COME ON!” he yelled in frustration after four times when it still did not break. Yelling out, he kicked his leg. His foot slammed into the windscreen and it exploded outwards, shattering into a million pieces. He leaned over the seats, picking up both his rucksack and Minah’s rucksack, throwing them outside onto the field. Looking back inside, Jaemin passed a glance over each of the occupants one more time.

“I’m so sorry.” He took a deep breath and clambered around the shards of glass still sticking out of the frame of the windscreen. He stumbled a little, falling onto his knee, but managed to make it to the rucksacks. He removed Minah’s phone again and opened it, scrolling through her contacts. The signal was stronger out here, and Jaemin sighed in relief. He tapped the contact for the boarding house they were staying at and held the phone up to his ear.

“Hello? I’m a student from Minah’s team,” Jaemin let out a small sob as he spoke, “Can you come? There was an accident. Everyone...everyone’s dead.”

**********

It had been two long days. Jaemin just wanted to go home, but with everything that had happened, he couldn’t. The police had wanted to talk to him, and he’d been tended to by the paramedics multiple times. Everyone’s parents had come up to the house, and Jaemin had been surrounded by everyone. The other students, too, kept giving him weird glances or saying meaningless messages, as if they were helping. Jaemin just wanted to be alone. 

Jisung had been released from the hospital, and he had come up with their parents. Currently, Jisung was sleeping on Jaemin’s designated bed, still exhausted from his ordeal. He’d been beaten up by someone trying to mug him on his way home after dance, leaving him in a bad way, and Jaemin’s heart broke upon seeing him. The battered brothers remained together as much as possible, providing protection for each other from the adults, but it was too much for Jisung at the moment.

Jaemin found a quiet time to slip away from overbearing parents and fake-concerned students and hobbled his way down to the edge of boundaries. He sat down, looking out over the mountainous regions, taking in the view. It was calming after the ordeal he’d been put through. 

Jaemin’s legs dangled under the railings and down onto the mountainside. His left arm was in a sling, and his right supported his head through the gap on the fence. His head was covered in bandages, and he had a row of stitches along his right cheekbone His eyes were glazed over, unable to get rid of the images of Mark and Donghyuck, of Mr Kim and Minah, and most of all, of Renjun and Jeno out of his head. He was reliving the moment of the accident over and over again in his head. The screams. The blood. The skidding of tires, and the beeping from other vehicles. 

“Jaemin.” Jaemin jumped violently, and his legs smacked into the wooden post. He groaned as pain shot through him, and Yukhei sat down sheepishly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Jaemin took in a shallow breath through his nose, waiting for the pain to subside. “Are you ok?”

Jaemin and Yukhei weren’t exactly close. He knew the older boy through Mark and Donghyuck, but they hadn’t really interacted one on one. Which is why he was surprised when Yukhei approached him. He was expecting Yukhei to hate him for what had happened - why had he survived and not those two? 

“I...no.” Jaemin looked at Yukhei, who was staring out at the mountains. “Yukhei hyung, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Yukhei kept his eyes trained on the mountain.

“I couldn’t save Mark and Donghyuck. Why couldn’t it have been me and not them? I know...I know how much they meant to you, and I-” Jaemin choked back a sob, angrily wiping at his eyes. “Fuck, I could have saved them, I could have stopped it, but I didn’t bec-”

“Jaemin.” Yukhei turned his head towards the younger boy. “Stop it. Just stop!” Jaemin looked back at Yukhei, tears brimming dangerously close to the edge of his eyes. “It was  _ not _ your fault that this happened. Do you hear me?” Yukhei grabbed his shoulder, ignoring the yelp of pain, and shook him a little. “Get that into your head. You didn’t kill Mark and Hyuck. It was an accident. You couldn’t have saved them. It sucks that you were there, because no one should have to see something like that,” Yukhei continued, raising his voice, “but it was  _ not _ your fault. So don’t blame yourself, and don’t apologise, because there was nothing you could do.” Yukhei took a deep breath, panting slightly. “And don’t ever say that it should have been you. I’m glad that you’re here now.” 

“Yukhei…”

“Mark and Hyuck are my brothers.” He looked pointedly at Jaemin. “They always will be. It was just their time to go.” Yukhei gently put an arm around Jaemin, being careful to not aggravate his injuries this time. “Just like how Renjun and Jeno will always have a special place in your heart.” Jaemin let himself rest on Yukhei’s shoulder. 

“How did you know?” he managed to ask.

“Hmm?”

“About...Renjun and Jeno.”

Yukhei smiled softly. “It was obvious to anyone who saw.” He cleared his throat a little. “Whoever you would have ended up with, it would’ve been cute.”

“Did you come out here to make me feel better or worse?” Jaemin asked dryly. “Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.”

“Someone’s a little cocky, aren’t they?” Yukhei teased back. Jaemin felt the ghost of a smile creep onto his face. “Looks like you haven’t completely lost your funny streak.”

“Defense mechanism.” Jaemin turned his head further into Yukhei’s neck, taking in the warmth from the older boy. “You’re really warm.”

“You’re just cold.” Yukhei slid his jacket off and put it around Jaemin’s shoulders before standing up. “Listen...if you ever need anything, I’m here, ok? Forget all of those officers and idiots inside thinking they know what’s best for you. You need someone who will understand, and you have two brothers who do.”

“I have one brother.”

“You have me now.” Yukhei patted Jaemin on the shoulder. “Take care, bro.”

“Same goes for you, hyung.” 

“I hope you heal eventually, Jaemin.”

**Author's Note:**

> ....................now that that's over...please leave a message/comment for me, I love reading your feedback on my work. This is particularly dark because I'm in a dark mood, and I also happened to be in a norenmin mood oops... If you want to, follow me on twt @pcyjunguwudays 
> 
> Until next time, boys and girls! :)


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